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6 . 6 . 06
- Thread starter Cman
- Start date
C
Cobra
A scientific explanation of Hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to
know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the
rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that
exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than
one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume
in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If
Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will
drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate
given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and Class Valedictorian)
during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her
last night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The
corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!"
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to
know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the
rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that
exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than
one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume
in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If
Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will
drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate
given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and Class Valedictorian)
during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I
sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her
last night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The
corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a
divine being which explains why, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!"
phynix
Staff Alumn
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2004
- Messages
- 1,109
- Reaction score
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Ok well yes your right (my bad!) 6lbs 6oz...that's better lol..and now the proof-
http://www.thisisbristol.co.uk/disp...Node=145191&contentPK=14608518&folderPk=83726
http://www.thisisbristol.co.uk/disp...Node=145191&contentPK=14608518&folderPk=83726
Could you imagine that? Being stuck with that name? The kid, once its old enough to realize, probably wouldn't feel real good about the parents and would get the name changed immediately. And my god, can you imagine the kid on the school playground? Woof. I wouldn't want to be that kid.
Preferred User
Engorged Member
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- Jun 22, 2005
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I Googled it...I think what you remember is this story of a woman who sold her name on eBay. Golden Palace bought it for $15,000 and named her "golden-palace-dot-com"
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/03/30/earlyshow/living/caught/main683960.shtml
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/03/30/earlyshow/living/caught/main683960.shtml
Preferred,
Thanks for the info. Well, I hope she's happy with the name and money. And I also hope that was what Cman was thinking about. If you do that as an adult, then you have to live with it. But to do that to a child......
Thanks for the info. Well, I hope she's happy with the name and money. And I also hope that was what Cman was thinking about. If you do that as an adult, then you have to live with it. But to do that to a child......
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2003
- Messages
- 2,864
- Reaction score
- 440
congratulations on not only bumping an old thread, but also completely missing the point.
